A team of archaeologists from Cesspool University, Male' City, has dug up Maldivian Integrity during a research expedition in the country's north. Integrity in Maldives is believed to have been missing for centuries - until now.
The research team consisting of graduate students, professors, a puppy and a pet chameleon made the surprise discovery while digging in an uninhabited island for signs of early settlements. This is what they told the university anyway. Our sources say they were mostly just partying.
The exact location of the find is being kept a secret due to the value of Integrity.
"This explains so much," said lead researcher Dr. Masha Varihama. "People always wondered where is the integrity in this country. Does it even exist? Turns out it's been buried here all along."
According to Varihama whomever buried it had gone to great lengths to ensure it stays hidden. It was found several feet beneath the ground, wrapped in cloth, inside a wooden box which was smeared in the most unappetizing mixture of lonumirus and rihaakuru - probably to stave off anyone that might look for it.
Dr. Rishvath Kali also accompanied the team. He said, "It's too early to talk about the implications of the find. But we could sure use some Integrity in this country right now."
As news of the discovery spread many citizens have come out with principled stances against injustice. Reports say state lawyers, police and other civil servants are taking a stand against unconstitutional orders from the president. Dunya Maumoon is also acting very confused, according to sources.
Dr. Varihama says she's already planning another expedition to look for this country's Ladh.
